Arts, farts: 3 reasons why you should never take me to any place with white walls

Duchamp_Fountaine

95% sure this will be my new logo

I hate conceptual art. I am truly a sucker when it comes to visiting contemporary art exhibitions – I just take a look at that old boot on the pedestal, and then go straight to the wine table.  I can’t even pretend I like it – if anyone asks me anything about it, I just smile and wave and offer them wine, candy, or a blowjob. Anything, what would take me away from talking about how I see that these earings with tribal ornaments are a social commentary about famine in Sudan and rising middle-class in Mexico. If  taking random items and making up a story for them was art, hoarders would have a stand in Venice Biennale, not a reality show.

Art is supposed to be conceptual. You know what’s sexy? IDEAS. Plain ideas is philosophy. Ideas, which are represented through a medium, is art. I love all things beautiful and shiny, but if it is only beautiful, it is probably under-age and is supposed to be at home by 11. Aesthetics and the idea must come hand to hand, and it should either speak straight to you, or be so appealing that you would want to research it yourself. Art must communicate with you and through you – not be that asshole, who only talks about himself and expects to be praised only because he exists. Conceptual art is like a man with a strong mother figure in his life – he is special because his mommy always said he is. If there is no mommy around, if there is no paper on the wall, explaining the concept, he is just a bowl, full of shit.

Creating is a job.  I was always critical towards the traditional image of a Lithuanian artist – the one who has a scarf, sits in the balcony with a glass of wine, waits for the inspiration, and thinks that the government is supposed to support it. If you choose to live as a professional artist, work your ass of with polishing your skills, like any other person with any other profession. And after all – everything requires a lot of creativity. Coding is art. Managing is art. Driving is art. Cooking is art. If you are a bad accountant, you will struggle, if you are a poor waitress, you will not get any tips. If you say that “I can’t live from my art”, maybe you are just  mediocre at what you do?

And now, since I am all prepped up with the right attitude, I will go to Lithuanian Art Fair, because wine&even more things to bitch about.

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One response to “Arts, farts: 3 reasons why you should never take me to any place with white walls

  1. Pingback: Best in Buffet: June-August | Circa Buffet·

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